Tears fall hard when the one you've long fallen for turns her back on you. And you have to stay away from her, because you do not want to see her trying to stay away from you, or to avoid the sad feeling that arises when you realize you are barely friends no more. However the irony is, you are so desperately hoping to see her from far. Friends and family ask you why won't you move on? What they do not understand, you can't, for million reasons, or there maybe only one, but who cares, even you yourself have given up on you.The painting and drawing that you gave her look stupid, and who are you to give her birthday presents? You are ugly, ignorant, poor, rude, and nothing good guy. 

Not only efforts, you even put in parts of heart and soul into everything you did for her, hence you are incomplete, incapable to fall for anyone else again. The broken heart of yours, even the loneliness is eating up your brain, that you have got no friends around, they left thinking you are weird and hateful, after all things you have been through in your head, that you turned into someone else that is not quite you, or maybe it's Gemini that has multi-personalities, that you do not even recognize him as well, is frozen solid like a ice fortress.  And your brain and the heart are fighting each other, to find balance in you, like Skylar Grey's singing, "the word "distraught" cannot describe how my heart has been."

Guess and hopefully it will be all over when she leaves this town as she's graduated soon.

P/S These are my crazy inner thoughts, whoever read this post, please have mercy no laughing material in it ORZ