To be frank I don't know how to start with, I'm all mixed up. I don't mind being "lone wolf", I don't mind being alone, I just want her companion for this very last semester of hers here. I mean like, we can still go out for dinners right, as ONLY friends? I'm not even sure if we are...
I'm not even putting any hope cause I know there isn't gonna be any, it hurts when every time I have to be shameless to ask her out, and get rejected, and repeat the cycle until I think it's very inappropriate to keep having her disturbed.
Her birthday is near, but I'm not planning on any gift cause I know my previous gifts were nasty and she hated them, however they were made with my hearts and souls, I had never done that to anyone, except for her, but I guess nobody really cared. What I hope is to have maybe the last dinner with her, even though I know the probability is almost near to 0, but I feel bitter either way.  
I'm so sick of the "relationship" thingy, so even people ask me to move on, to start over, I'm like screw that, that ain't gonna happen no more, starting to think that "forever alone" might be a good idea. I have given in so much but in return I'm receiving so much disheartening message.
Truthfully I don't know how to be a "nice" guy, cause I'm already trying so hard to be "nice". I'm not even hoping for that kinda mind-blowing, transcendent relationship, I'm just hoping for a wife, who can be with me forever, not a girlfriend. I maybe lame and dull, but when I'm serious I can't even do the flirting shit. So, I don't know starting from when, I've already lost my "passion" in this kinda thing, I stay away from most of the girls, despite being in an engineering course without girls, to prevent getting entangled in twisted "relationship" again, it's killing me and in fact I think it did, cause the "old me" is gone, and I don't recognize the "new me".
Maybe all this caused by my awful appearance? Personality? Being not rich? Talentless? 
"Fuck the world now, I'm done with foreplay"
"I’ve tried in this department, but I ain’t had no luck with this"

"It sucks, but it’s exactly what I thought it would be like tryna start over"
P/S: I really really like you, but I guess you loathe me so so much, guess I have no choice but to walk away, but this scar can never fade, I'm sho sho sad. Good luck finding your perfect love one in the future, sincerely wish you the best :")