Everybody's not what they seem to be like. Really, we can't judge a book by its cover. What we see on the outside, it's always not what it is on the inside. To know whether a book is good or not, we have to scrutinize every word inside it, even the punctuation marks, in order to determine the quality of its contents, to understand what it tries to express. Similarly, to literally know oneself, we have to see through the soul. However it's impossible to see through one's such thick skins, body full of cells, membranes, fluids and etc. Those layers are already hard enough to be penetrated through, and people nowadays even make up and this has promoted the barrier to another level. Smiles, might be EVIL grins, laughters, they might be teases. Everyone's a hypocrite, everyone's wearing their masks, and when I say everyone it's EVERYONE, myself included. Revelation of the truths is always fatal. The impacts it gives are severe, the pain it causes excelling the pain to be burnt in the fiery depths of hell I guess? Guess I will only know after I'm dead LOL. Agonies invoked by it is like to be stabbed at the back by a blunt knife than being shot right at the head, ten times greater. Masks, our greatest kit to disguise ourselves, wear tight =)

It’s been a year, introduce my most recent drawing, “Darksiders” from an action rpg game I played years ago. There are photos taken for the drawing I drew from the start till the end. Though my WAR looks like fucktard, fatter and uglier, but no matter how it's my effort, hope you guys like it =X.

Trial's near, am not ready yet, procrastinating shits running circle in my head,my IQ and EQ are too low for me to survive in the coming waves. God I need your help, listen to my prayer.

I'm a devil. Peace destroyed.
Today's Christmas, on the eve I shouted at my dad so loud that the streets could hear, almost fought, he took hammer I held stick.
Going to church tomorrow in the morning. Haven even done my confession. God, I'm a incurable disaster making devil!

Yesterday, I lost my scholarship RM8000, failed my A levels chemistry internal exam. What a waste, though it was predicted but I just din't want to lose it. Felt like I'm a dumb, looked back the test paper it wasn't that hard after all. Today got back computing paper, got a B. This one I was quite satisfied with it, but why chemistry? Hope that my physics could score higher, at least a B for it I hoped. I failed, 100% scholar gone in a wink of eyes, shouldn't happen. I din't want to be the only person who lost the scholarship in my class. Should work harder and harder till I got A, for every subject! I tried, I studied, guess it's not enough for my weakest subject after all. Felt so sorry, failed my parents, failed my pride, failed everything. How am I going to sit for real A levels exam? Seriously I have to get back up soon. Fight for it, lost this scholar doesn't mean that I lost it all, lost this fight doesn't mean that I lost the war, it's still on and I have to carry on my battle, till victory is finally mine. WAKE UP! My America dream should not DIE!

It's been a long time since the last shit I drew. So one day I had this come into my mind, I should have drawn some shits out to see if my skills deteriorated or what. So I decided to work out on two characters in a game that I kept playing recently, called wolfteam. So during one midnight, I'd been lying on the bed for two hours and I couldn't fall in sleep, that was fucked up. So I went to deviant art and found some pictures of the Wolves which I could refer to. Okay, enough of grandma's shits, let's get started.

This was the draft I made, heads of the Guardian wolf and the Ghost wolf (in the game they're called so) were drawn. Guessed they were okay. =)

Firstly I coloured up the Ghost Wolf's head during the 1st midnight. Spent few hours on it. >.<

This was the material I used, the water colour I used for this drawing is Alpha Artists Water Colour, I first used it at the end of year 2010. Before that was using Buncho. I was using the soft brushes to paint, so the fur's of the wolf was not that vivid =(, yeah not true-to-life. Anyway fuck it, ain't got time to waste on that shit.

The next step I started to paint the Guardian, I painted a mere and light layer of colours on it, it's obscure, just like a foundation or platform for it.

Slowly I added layers and layers of colours on it, so it's getting more like popped out shit, 3D-liked? More concrete...

Finally! I got them both done. Their heads and upper bodies were all nicely coloured up XD.

Hmmm, in order to make them more ferocious, more vicious, I dropped the red on the paper and blew them off to make some blood oozing effects. Looked blood thirsty Rawr~

So after that I sprayed some reds on the paper. Seemed like the blood spurted out. Done.

I know it's not really nice but anyway it's ma hard work man =)

It's been a long time since my last post, 2nd August, today it's 24th September already. Most probably cause I ain't got nothing nice to share, so I remain silent, but not for long. Soon I will be back from the death, unleash my demonic power to own the world! Rawrrr!

The draft was made =D Everybody who passed-by my room would glim into my room and was stupefied seeing the fuck I drew, especially the girls, they thought I was a pervert or what shit.


The bra and pantis were coloured.


Before the background was painted with a fair and lightly thin redish pink on it.

LOL this was what I drew for Lai Heng my room mate, for his presentation. Damn it he got all the fames in his class haha and he succeeded to capture all the attentions of the class. What a nice lady I've drawn. XD

AS the desperado,
CLIMBED over the fence and roared,
THE barrel of hate,
THE terrible fate,
FIRST the innocents trembled & froze,
the massacre started everywhere the blood spilled and oozed,
THEN the bastard realized that he,
STEPPED deep,
INTO the path OF,
THE damned, no love, couldn't get off.

Zz our general paper teacher asked us to write a poem with those given upper case words, damn it. I had no idea at all and came out with this shit. The teacher's comment was, everything was good except for the word BASTARD. XD

Yeah, I rearranged my stuffs, my table has become neat and tidy. Besides, I have more space to do my works. What a nice arrangement! =D

So this is my favourite song from Marshall Bruce Mathers III a.k.a Eminem in the music industry. I love the bridge of the song so much as it's quite touching and the tone is quite nice. "I woulda did anything for you, to show you how much I adore you, but it's over now, it's too late to save our love, just promise you'll think of me, everytime you look up in the sky and see a star, cause I'm a.." And he's so creative saying love is "evol", by spelling it backwards. After waiting for a time, its official music video has finally come out.Yea~ ^^ Quite busy these days, so I only get the chance to post whenever I'm Free ehee OMG forgot to introduce the name of the song, thought you might be knowing the song already, it's SPACE BOUND. =D

It's been two weeks since I updated this blog. I'm not fine I'm not fine! Cuz I'm out of my mind, out of my mind out of my mind out of my mind! Won't being kind no more! Blawrr~

Hey yo, it's mid night, but I ain't gonna sleep yet. Just finished playing dota, it's like I was swearing all the time during game time. One thing I wana say out loud here, I love my physics practical teacher so much, he's a professor, and I wana emphasize, he's the only professor in this college...erm...should be another one who is his wife, they both are professors in this school. Hmm...and today my physics lecturer asked me to show the answer on the board since I said I solved the problem that he thought that we probably couldn't solve it. Felt kinda proud though it's just a small case. Hmm...after tmr it's going to be two weeks holidays for me to spend. Should spend it on studies more? >.< Kay, have to do my works. Off... pray to have a nice day for tomorrow =)

My friends asked me if I was somnambulating (sleepwalking) as we were walking to the canteen, cause I was seeing like hypnotized, blurring like I was going to fall anytime. Maybe I was infatuated by something? Or maybe by someone perhaps? Recently I always sat alone during class, even felt like keeping off them when they sat beside me. No one could see that I was actually grieving, I tried to hide it but I couldn't, why did I act like I was all high and mighty when inside I was dying. Two weeks I've been having ups and down going through peaks. I call that the great fluctuation of feelings. I never want to be remorse for the choice I've chosen for my life. Seriously I need whatever shit to help me get through the time. That's the feeling I've been loathing as always. You can always call me chump, dildo. Cause I'm lunatic, exactly skitzophrenic who always been like talking to the other me. FUCK ME.

Miss Tam, my physics lecturer please return to our class, cause I don't really like the new lecturer. It's just I don't like the way he teaches us, not only me, it's like the whole class, is hating his way, anyway we should respect him. Yeah, something I'm happy about myself is that I'm growing sturdy and more staid compared to the old me. Try to underscore my strengths, so that my dreams would be achieved. =)

Hey man, I've moved everything, almost everything of mine to my room here with Lai Heng, and a "HOBO", Chee Wei who lives temporarily with us. Quite a lot of things, making me sick. So, guess I've all my things prepared, waiting for my new life to start. Hmm, I've taken few pictures of my room here, freaking small for me. Ish.