I'm a devil. Peace destroyed.
Today's Christmas, on the eve I shouted at my dad so loud that the streets could hear, almost fought, he took hammer I held stick.
Going to church tomorrow in the morning. Haven even done my confession. God, I'm a incurable disaster making devil!

Yesterday, I lost my scholarship RM8000, failed my A levels chemistry internal exam. What a waste, though it was predicted but I just din't want to lose it. Felt like I'm a dumb, looked back the test paper it wasn't that hard after all. Today got back computing paper, got a B. This one I was quite satisfied with it, but why chemistry? Hope that my physics could score higher, at least a B for it I hoped. I failed, 100% scholar gone in a wink of eyes, shouldn't happen. I din't want to be the only person who lost the scholarship in my class. Should work harder and harder till I got A, for every subject! I tried, I studied, guess it's not enough for my weakest subject after all. Felt so sorry, failed my parents, failed my pride, failed everything. How am I going to sit for real A levels exam? Seriously I have to get back up soon. Fight for it, lost this scholar doesn't mean that I lost it all, lost this fight doesn't mean that I lost the war, it's still on and I have to carry on my battle, till victory is finally mine. WAKE UP! My America dream should not DIE!

It's been a long time since the last shit I drew. So one day I had this come into my mind, I should have drawn some shits out to see if my skills deteriorated or what. So I decided to work out on two characters in a game that I kept playing recently, called wolfteam. So during one midnight, I'd been lying on the bed for two hours and I couldn't fall in sleep, that was fucked up. So I went to deviant art and found some pictures of the Wolves which I could refer to. Okay, enough of grandma's shits, let's get started.

This was the draft I made, heads of the Guardian wolf and the Ghost wolf (in the game they're called so) were drawn. Guessed they were okay. =)

Firstly I coloured up the Ghost Wolf's head during the 1st midnight. Spent few hours on it. >.<

This was the material I used, the water colour I used for this drawing is Alpha Artists Water Colour, I first used it at the end of year 2010. Before that was using Buncho. I was using the soft brushes to paint, so the fur's of the wolf was not that vivid =(, yeah not true-to-life. Anyway fuck it, ain't got time to waste on that shit.

The next step I started to paint the Guardian, I painted a mere and light layer of colours on it, it's obscure, just like a foundation or platform for it.

Slowly I added layers and layers of colours on it, so it's getting more like popped out shit, 3D-liked? More concrete...

Finally! I got them both done. Their heads and upper bodies were all nicely coloured up XD.

Hmmm, in order to make them more ferocious, more vicious, I dropped the red on the paper and blew them off to make some blood oozing effects. Looked blood thirsty Rawr~

So after that I sprayed some reds on the paper. Seemed like the blood spurted out. Done.

I know it's not really nice but anyway it's ma hard work man =)

It's been a long time since my last post, 2nd August, today it's 24th September already. Most probably cause I ain't got nothing nice to share, so I remain silent, but not for long. Soon I will be back from the death, unleash my demonic power to own the world! Rawrrr!

The draft was made =D Everybody who passed-by my room would glim into my room and was stupefied seeing the fuck I drew, especially the girls, they thought I was a pervert or what shit.


The bra and pantis were coloured.


Before the background was painted with a fair and lightly thin redish pink on it.

LOL this was what I drew for Lai Heng my room mate, for his presentation. Damn it he got all the fames in his class haha and he succeeded to capture all the attentions of the class. What a nice lady I've drawn. XD

AS the desperado,
CLIMBED over the fence and roared,
THE barrel of hate,
THE terrible fate,
FIRST the innocents trembled & froze,
the massacre started everywhere the blood spilled and oozed,
THEN the bastard realized that he,
STEPPED deep,
INTO the path OF,
THE damned, no love, couldn't get off.

Zz our general paper teacher asked us to write a poem with those given upper case words, damn it. I had no idea at all and came out with this shit. The teacher's comment was, everything was good except for the word BASTARD. XD

Yeah, I rearranged my stuffs, my table has become neat and tidy. Besides, I have more space to do my works. What a nice arrangement! =D

So this is my favourite song from Marshall Bruce Mathers III a.k.a Eminem in the music industry. I love the bridge of the song so much as it's quite touching and the tone is quite nice. "I woulda did anything for you, to show you how much I adore you, but it's over now, it's too late to save our love, just promise you'll think of me, everytime you look up in the sky and see a star, cause I'm a.." And he's so creative saying love is "evol", by spelling it backwards. After waiting for a time, its official music video has finally come out.Yea~ ^^ Quite busy these days, so I only get the chance to post whenever I'm Free ehee OMG forgot to introduce the name of the song, thought you might be knowing the song already, it's SPACE BOUND. =D

It's been two weeks since I updated this blog. I'm not fine I'm not fine! Cuz I'm out of my mind, out of my mind out of my mind out of my mind! Won't being kind no more! Blawrr~

Hey yo, it's mid night, but I ain't gonna sleep yet. Just finished playing dota, it's like I was swearing all the time during game time. One thing I wana say out loud here, I love my physics practical teacher so much, he's a professor, and I wana emphasize, he's the only professor in this college...erm...should be another one who is his wife, they both are professors in this school. Hmm...and today my physics lecturer asked me to show the answer on the board since I said I solved the problem that he thought that we probably couldn't solve it. Felt kinda proud though it's just a small case. Hmm...after tmr it's going to be two weeks holidays for me to spend. Should spend it on studies more? >.< Kay, have to do my works. Off... pray to have a nice day for tomorrow =)

My friends asked me if I was somnambulating (sleepwalking) as we were walking to the canteen, cause I was seeing like hypnotized, blurring like I was going to fall anytime. Maybe I was infatuated by something? Or maybe by someone perhaps? Recently I always sat alone during class, even felt like keeping off them when they sat beside me. No one could see that I was actually grieving, I tried to hide it but I couldn't, why did I act like I was all high and mighty when inside I was dying. Two weeks I've been having ups and down going through peaks. I call that the great fluctuation of feelings. I never want to be remorse for the choice I've chosen for my life. Seriously I need whatever shit to help me get through the time. That's the feeling I've been loathing as always. You can always call me chump, dildo. Cause I'm lunatic, exactly skitzophrenic who always been like talking to the other me. FUCK ME.

Miss Tam, my physics lecturer please return to our class, cause I don't really like the new lecturer. It's just I don't like the way he teaches us, not only me, it's like the whole class, is hating his way, anyway we should respect him. Yeah, something I'm happy about myself is that I'm growing sturdy and more staid compared to the old me. Try to underscore my strengths, so that my dreams would be achieved. =)

Hey man, I've moved everything, almost everything of mine to my room here with Lai Heng, and a "HOBO", Chee Wei who lives temporarily with us. Quite a lot of things, making me sick. So, guess I've all my things prepared, waiting for my new life to start. Hmm, I've taken few pictures of my room here, freaking small for me. Ish.

I've bought a pair of New Balance shoes, it's glamorous, kinda mesmerizing, so I chose it. I've thought of Nike before, but since there wasn't any that matched my preference, so didn't make it at last. Couldn't deny that some of them which were quite flabbergastingly awesome, but soon as I saw their prices, I was dumbfounded, so I bounced. Besides, I've bought an Admiral basketball, which is just hunky-dory, just fine. Tomorrow I'm moving up to Setapak for further study, will miss everyone here. =(

My blog has been dying too long, guess it's time to resuscitate it. But I ain't got nothing much to say here, it's just...I've spent two months working, and the rest of time rotting at home, like a fleshy swine wallowing and then slumped into a mud. Now it's about time to get my ass back for further study. It's about time to start a new life. Advanced level, which is the pre-u course I'm taking, not really sure if I can handle it, but I know I have to try my best endeavor to get an excellent result. Though I might feel lil bit dismay for my SPM result, but this feeling has to be gotten rid of. It's like I'm stupid, and I never work hard for it, my own fault, who to blame? No one indeed. But now as I grow up, my responsibilities are getting greater, burdens are getting heavier, a slip of mind may cause me to drop dead, sink to the bottom of the sea, get sucked into the black hole, bound to the eternity of death. So I will get bulked up, get erected, get blasted up to the sky, staring at you people, and I am the king. Well, that's probably just a saying of mine, I'm a bastard, hard for me to really get bulked up, but to slack frequently, that's pretty effortless, aikss.

Actually I've no idea what's so great about countdown? Every year people are doing the same shit they did. It only brings lot of garbage, energy wastage, just so. I walked alone at I-city after working, I was all alone. Everybody walked pass me, but non of them I knew. It was like I had no friend, no family, nothing. The feeling of being alone was so awful, I couldn't bear it.
While today, it was so surprising when the misses universe came to the snow house I was working in. They came to my place, I got the chance to hold their hands.XD It was a great day I had been through.
Sad thing bout me was I was still thinking too complex everyday. I couldn't stop thinking bout the results of SPM, what kind of results would it be? Haih, and I haven't decided yet which course would I study. Electrical and electronic engineering? Architecture? And I've totally no idea which college or university would I go.So worried bout my future. XD

Today was the second day my class trip's holding on. I just felt so lonely, as I signed in my facebook. No one, indeed no one except for despicable Khoo Khoo Bird is online. Haih, can't I just stop this shit? There is no way I can join them right now. So, stop thinking bout that. Nevermind, I'm planning to have a trip for those who couldn't make it at March. Hope to realize this plan. Lala~
And today, I went to Karak, Pahang there, to visit my cousin's farm. Well, that was really CHICK CHICK here, CHICK CHICK there. He gave us lot of papaya, coconuts, eggs and two chickens. Guess my family and I have to spend quite a time to finish them. =)
Well, on the way back home. There was guy tried to mess with my dad on the road. That act did fuck me up, and I couldn't bear it at all. He showed unidentified ignorant sign with his hand to my car, but I couldn't fathom what kind of sign is it, so I just paid him with my middle finger. He pressed his brake in a sudden and my dad almost banged on him. At the toll, he was right beside us. I just opened the window and shouted at him unstoppably. I almost jumped out from the window and punched him in the face. Well, he opened his window too, but he did not dare to say a word, but shocked listening to what the fuck I said. Haha the terrible thing was the workers at the toll and the road users were all looking at me queerly. Shit, so embarrassing man. XD I just didn't give a fuck, who asked the guy tried to fool us? Messed with my dad on the road, well you got that from me. All I wished was a guy like you should be banished from this world. In plain you GO DIE.

Taylor's college, Swee Thian, Juiin How and I went there. My only purpose was to meet some pretty girls there. Hahax, quite funny. We spent quite a long time there, Juiin How was asking for actuarial science, Swee Thian was asking for law. OMG, I was just talking crap there.XD
After that we went to Sunway. Actually there was nothing for us to do also, it was all Swee Thian's stupid idea, he suggested so that we shopping at there. At last I dragged them both to watch Tron. The effects of the movies were awesome. The movie was very nice and I was quite enjoying the show.
Oh no, time for caroling. Going to sing Christmas. =) Lala~ Erm, it had just finished. Lala, I was shocked yet happy to see a Hi 5 set in my house. XDDD I just turned on the bass and maximized the volume. Guess what? My house was shaking like Malaysia was having earthquake. =D
Tomorrow I'm going to edu fair. Argh, tiring life after SPM. God, help me to choose what's best for me!! Thank you my lord!! =)

Erm, where should I start off with? Feel so exhausting today, like my soul was extricated from my body. Now I'm just an empty shell. Haha, luckily my mind is still working, and my fingers can still type. Man, can't I stop crapping? Today was just so crazy, sang until I had sore throat, like I was having schizophrenia. Arhaha, couldn't imagine how was the person thought when he was watching us through the camera. Switch it off, I have my draft for seni exam done too, but it needs to be adjusted and modified in order to reach the perfect line. Hope to get A+ for this subject in SPM. Think there is quite a chance if I'm not mistaken. One more thing that made me feel joy was, I bought a watch with the original price rm69, but after 30% discount, left rm48. Quite a cool watch. Red border with black belt. Actually I wanted another watch worth rm89, but I thought that I didn't really need to spend so much money on a watch, I just gave up and bought the current watch. =)

For my Darksiders, progression was quite a lot today, I've got my horse for War, named Ruin. Killed so many freaks, now left the biggest one, and I still can't kill it, a big worm with it's big disgusting mouth. It's big, huge, humongous, enormous!! Never mind, I will attempt to terminate it's life tomorrow morning. Wait, not morning, I've to go to church, haha almost forgot.

One thing that ruined my day was the fucking bike near my house. What's so great bout the bike man? Couldn't figure it out though my head's broken, couldn't fathom. Why he had to show off with his abysmal bike? Vroom Vroom Vroom all day long, I couldn't sleep because of that fellow!! If not I wouldn't be here typing all these shits, I could be having my sweet dream~ At that time I really wished him to bang on something, at least fall down, go to hell man, useless on earth, just flotsam and jetsam , rotten shit! Argh! really fucked up, no joke dawg. Don't care right now, head's cracking...lala~

I have this ambivalent feeling after SPM, well it's not actually over, I still have one and a half subjects to go, Seni and Chinese. I feel freed, almost jumped in exultation. Almost believed I can fly. Well, that's crap. On the other hand, I'm worried, bout my future. Is it bright? Or it's as dim as a half-spoiled light bulb? What kind of results will I get? Damn, can't get rid of this feeling. Where am I heading in the future? Feel like a headless fly, I'm blind-folded, don't know where to go, where to stop, at last i will end up banging into the wall. The fluctuation of the feelings is great, sometimes I couldn't bear it, perhaps I should get a rectifier to rectify my crazy feelings, is this what they called a bipolar disorder? May be i should place this feeling aside? Leave it to god? Good idea. This should be my newborn life, and I should make it bright.

Well cut that, talk bout my games now. After Biology papers, I can carry on with my Call of Duty 5- World at War and Darksiders. COD 5 is coming to an end, I'm preparing for COD 6- Modern Warfare 2. Haha actually I've started to play COD 6 a little bit. For Darksiders, before exam i was working with it, but unfortunately it had problem on the software and I had to exterminate my playing. The lucky thing is I have a backup file on Victor's external hard disk, I would say this is one of the benefits of trading games with your friends.

Erm, I should get started to equip myself with some knowledge and enhance myself. If not, I couldn't step into the world in the future. So, let's work it out.